Don't get me wrong: I was rooting for it. I'm thrilled that it knocked Rihanna and Eminem off the throne, and I hope it stays up there long enough to cockblock OneRepublic, Passenger, and/or Katy Perry and their even worse respective singles from scaling the peak, although I know the last one at least is doubtful. And I'm stoked that Ke$ha is number one on both sides of the globe. But I know full well that I'm just making the best of a momentary low point in pop music here, and you should too!
It's tempting to speculate, what does the ascension of "Timber" mean for music? For the rest of us? Don't think too hard - it probably doesn't mean all that much in the grand scheme of things. But here are at least some things that it does mean. Make of them, and their seriousness, what you will.
- No more Rihanna at #1 for a minute (she'll be back, don't worry).
- People still dig Ke$ha when they're actually able to hear her on the radio.
- Pitbull has officially become the pop equivalent of Jon Taffer from "Bar Rescue" (so look for him on a remix with Britney Spears).
- The jury is still out on which direction mainstream pop music is headed in the wake of the fall of EDM.
- We are entering a period in which America recompenses for the admirable nine week reign of "Royals" with a comparable period of embracing poor taste.
- "Dark Horse" will probably reach #1 as well. (See previous)
- We should probably be prepared for an onslaught of folktronica (thanks Avicii) so gird your loins and break out the chaps (or earplugs).