Thursday, October 18, 2012

The Ten Best Moments of "Gangnam Style" - A Photoessay

Wait, I know what you're thinking: "Oh hey, a post about PSY's viral hit 'Gangnam Style!' How new and exciting! I've been looking all over for something about that video on the web but just can't seem to find anything!" and so forth (you sarcastic bastard). Like the now globally recognized Korean rapper behind the current song/video of the zeitgeist (sorry, Carly Rae...we'll call you, maybe), I am entirely self-aware of the relative seriousness and import of the pieces I put up here at Vertigo Shtick, and like, um, let's say Lady Gaga because you know she'll appreciate the conversation being brought around to her circuitously, I am not above serving up the occasional fun and inconsequential fluff piece now and then when I get drunk in my tour bus or I've been away for a few seconds and some other bitch is about to release a single/album/major announcement. *Vomits*

In any event, I gathered these stills from PSY's fabulous video while prepping for an upcoming piece and I couldn't pick just the one I needed and let the rest languish in the digital trash can - and *poof* a post is born, commemorating the ten best moments and images from a video jam-packed with good stuff (in order of appearance). Heyyyyyyyyyy sexy laday!

1. Stables (Introduction of Horse Riding Dance) - PSY's now-world famous dance move joins Jesus Christ and the horse from Britney Spears' "Radar" video on the list of great things born in mangers.

Dancin' in the stables on a horse with no name
2. Blowin' in the Wind Machine - The rapper and his two consorts discover why you're not supposed to mix your wind machine with your fake snow/confetti/litter on the street. Especially when it's rented from a company called "Katrina."

This place about to blow, winds, and crack your cheeks with rage (-Ke$hakespeare)
3. Sauna-eh - After millenia of bafflement, one anonymous Korean sauna patron reveals the purpose of the male nipple. 

What you gon' do with all that breast?
4. Need a Lift? - PSY gives new meaning to Otis' seemingly benign question "Going down?" At least, that's the thrust of it.

Hips don't lie
5. Take It Back Now, Y'all - The rapper offers a worthy example of the ever so effective "I'm going to go from one side of the screen to the other in an amusing manner" (see Gaga's cornfield sprint; Azealia's 90s Kriss Kross)

Back it up baby...back it up back it up
6. Trouble with the Curves - "Baby Got Back," "Dance (A$$)," and "Bootylicious" all in one five-second interpretive dance piece.

7. "Gangnam Style:" Hipster-Approved - Am I the only one who thinks that looks like Lady Gaga? It's Gaga, isn't it? It probably is Gaga, right? She so would.

Run, run with her top down, baby
8. PSYlie Minogue - The rapper inverts Kylie Minogue's dance with her robotic minions from "Can't Get You Out of My Head" with the one tragic exception of the open-heart surgery dress and double-stick tape. Okay, a lot of people have done it, I just like thinking of Kylie in that dress.

I got ninety-nine bitches, but a problem ain't one
9. When You Gotta Go... - Filming in the loo? No problem: in Gangnam, of course, one's shit does not stink.

I had a shit day, you had a shit day, we had a shit day
10. The Grand Finale - PSY and his second-half guest star HyunA lead the multitudes of alternatively dressed, know what I think this is last year's Halloween party at the Lazertag corporate offices.

Leeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet the sun shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine, leeeeeeeeeeeeeet the sun shine in

And there you have it: the satirical Korean pop-rap song and music video that have taken over the world while Girls Generation cries softly but precisely in synch in a corner somewhere. Oh, and if you haven't seen it yet for some reason, get on the ball, dude... here, I'll help you out.

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