A few months ago, I was lucky enough to win a series of shots that traditionally are administered in the rear, which is never pleasant, but, I learned, immensely more tolerable when the task is performed by the hot male nurse. In fact, by my third and final appointment with the needle, I actually balked at the female nurse who initially came in with some excuse about wanting to finish the journey together or some sort of bullshit, but it worked. I have never flirted as shamelessly as I did those next three minutes or so, and it was a total thrill, since while I'm sure there are activities at which I'm poorer than flirting I can't think of any off the top of my head. Since then, the five or ten seconds I get to see him each week have become something I look forward to.
Yesterday on my way to my appointment I turned on the radio for some masochistic reason and decided to take some real-life inspiration from Carly Rae Jepsen's juggernaut "Call Me Maybe," since it's certainly worked out pretty well for the Canadian Idol second runner-up. Before I left I dropped off a note for the man I've taken to referring to as "the hot male nurse," and here is what it said.
You must admit it's for realI'm not expecting a call.
The scene was less than ideal
The first time we copped a feel
But still I look your way
I'd rather not, if you please,
Have to contract STDs
And have you cure the disease
To get you in my [ahem] "way"
I'm usually not so
Bold, but what the hell. (Oh -
Even if you say no,
Won't this make a funny story?)
Hey hunky nurse man,
Don't think I'm crazy,
But here's my number,
So call me, maybe?
